How do you go about walking away from that ideal person if the timing is just all wrong? My heart is broken and my tears won’t dry. I’m forever changed from having known him. He’s the second most incredible man I’ve ever known. I’m just not ready for forever…
Dear single chicks: it’s time to raise the bar!
Recently I read a blog post titled “Dear single dudes: it’s time to man up”. In this posting the author asked “When did men become so afraid to make a commitment, to take the lead, to say what they want, to make long term plans, to set goals, to pursue, to talk about the future?” Well here’s my answer as a single female who is being honest with herself and objective. They became afraid of all those things when women decided to settle for less than they deserve. If she is willing to accept the confusion of “whatever” as how their relationship is being defined. Why would he feel the slightest reason to fully commit? He essential, as much as I hate the saying, gets to have his cake and eat it too. He gets the benefit of a girlfriend without the commitment. There are far too many single women out there who willing accept this as status quo. It’s the norm to be “talking” “whatever” “hooking up”. Some may even agree it’s less messy.
Another problem with why men are afraid of taking the lead is there are more women today that are afraid of commitment than ever before. That’s evident by the need for books titled; “Kiss and Run: the single picky and indecisive girl’s guide to overcoming her fear of commitment”. No mature man wants to have a long term relationship with an indecisive girl who can’t commitment to what her favorite pizza topping is let along a relationship.
It’s so easy to just put all the blame on the men for not stepping up. The truth is we can’t put the entire blame for the down fall of adult dating on men alone. We have to share the blame as single women. We are playing the same childish games the single men are playing. Both sides denying it by using the cliché excuse “I’m not ready for a serious relationship.” How on earth are you ready to take off your clothes and practice making a baby if you aren’t ready for a serious relationship? What the hell do you think that is?
I recently discovered a male friend of mine has liked me since we met. Him and I began to discuss the possibility of pursuing a relationship only for me to fall into the “we’re talking…it’s whatever…We’re both not ready for a serious relationship” nonsense that frustrates me to no end. Here I find myself doing all the things that irritate me about dating today. We need to break these habits of confusion when it comes to our relationships. If we are so scared to tell a man what we want how is he ever going to respect us? When did it become a bad thing to know what you want out of a relationship?
I tend to agree with the author of that blog post, there needs to be a clearly defined relationship and we need to start acting like adults. Those terms and situations may have been acceptable when we were in high school and even college. We are grown adults with lives and careers now. It’s time we progress to adult relationships. Leave the “hooking up” “talking” and “whatever” to the teenagers. We as women need to be honest about what we want. If he has a problem with the fact we aren’t willing to get naked without a commit then he’s doesn’t deserve us. Plain and simple.
I changed my eating habits about three weeks ago. I eat yogurt berries and granola for breakfast every morning. Then a 7 cup salad with romaine lettuce spinach cucumbers tomatoes avocados feta cheese and grilled chicken with a Greek vinaigrette drizzled over it. Then for dinner I eat one average portion of whatever I fix for dinner that night.
This passed week I added in Zumba three times a week.
A week ago I stepped onto a scale. I looked down. That number I saw was uber embarrassing I couldn’t believe I’d let myself slip that far back when just three years prior I was making such great head way I’d dropped from 320 to 265. I was only 100lbs from my goal weight yet I’d allowed myself to wallow in that very dark place for two years and that number was 340lbs that is the most I’ve ever weighed and it was at that moment that I decided this change had to be a lifestyle change. Curiosity got me again this past week. I stepped onto that scale on Wednesday March 5,2014 and the number I saw brought validation 330lbs. Yes it still more than I should weigh but it’s less than I weighed a week ago so there is progress and with adding the exercising into the equation that will increase the calories burned.
I am currently a size 24. My goal is to be down to a size 18 by June 2. Can I accomplish that? ABSOLUTELY! My end goal is to drop to a size 14 by September 1,2014. This means I need to be held accountable. I need to be called out when I slip. Don’t hesitate to slap the donut or cookie out of my hand. I need the support of my family and friends. I value their opinions over the opinions of strangers. I know I am capable of this. I am now determined to make it happen! Please cheer me on and watch as I shed my fat girl body for the curvy skinny girl I’ve always been under all my rolls of insecurity.
I will be documenting my journey on my tumblr account with blog post and pictures. This is my year and I will conquer my world!